During times of crisis, chaos, and traumatic experiences, our body, mind and soul enter into what is call survival mode. Survival mode is usually a short term, fear-based mode of thinking. At this time, you’re usually in “fight or flight mode.”
For so many years, I lived in survival mode. My main focus was dealing with potential threats. I tried to predict every second, minute and hour which completely took away joy from my life. In my head, I developed a plan for every threat that could come my way…. I was ready for anything!! I even notice that my breathing was just as swallow as me enjoying life. I was living a bare minimum life. I completely forgot to enjoy the moment & enjoy life. Survival mode had me continuously living in a state of what if’s.
Here are just a few examples that put me in this constant state of survival mode:
⁃ losing both of parents within a small amount of time
⁃ Moving away from family and friends who I could count on
⁃ Being in a emotionally toxic relationship
⁃ Having to raise 3 kids on a limited income
⁃ 2 kids involved in major car accidents
⁃ Being fired from a job for no particular reason
⁃ And of course this national pandemic: COVID-19
This is just to name a few.........
How and when did I realize that I’ve been functioning in a high level survival mode??? The day I decided to buy myself a new car. For 2 years, I watched and waited for this car. It was the right color, the interior was beautiful, and the engine purred like a kitten. I brought the car and drove home. The entire drive home, I had a full on panic attack. For a whole week, I drove my new car but constantly thought about the what if’s….I was in full on survival mode. I could not even enjoy my new car. I rode around with the sunroof open and the wind blowing in my hair but five seconds later I was back in survival mode.
My goal: Get out of survival mode. How you ask?
Restore my Faith.
P.S. For with God nothing shall be impossible. Luke 1:37
Jumpsuit: New and Company
Hat and Earrings: Forever 21